Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Je suis tombée amour avec un magasin stupide

I feel like I should share this all with you guys, because it was THAT fucking horrible.

I had a visual meeting/workshop to attend to from 9am until 4pm in Richmond, VA which is about an hour and a half away from me, if I'm speeding and there's no traffic. Anyways, I had agreed to meet up with my lead visual Dawn at 6:30am so we give ourselves enough time to sit in traffic AND to get lost, because I know myself very fucking well.

1.) I woke up at 6:15am, an hour and 15 minutes later than what I had planned, to find out that my phone had slipped off the top of my couch to my ass fucking crack. Didn't feel it vibrate or hear it ring so I'm already late. I would've just thrown on clothes and gone off, but I didn't want to represent my store looking like shit, even though I left all of my piercings in and my shorts were fucking ridiculously short.

2.) Then as we're driving I notice a sign briefly that said 64 West so I made a right on the fork and totally fucking got lost! Got off at the first exit I could take and had to call for directions, which were wrong! So I had to use the slowest navigation system implanted into my cell phone to get us to our destination. We showed up thankfully only 3 minutes late, while everyone else is still trying to make it to the store on time.

3.) They. Fucking. Split. Me. From my lead visual, who is like my tita in MOST cases, even off the clock!

4.) After mapping out our new concepts we had a miscommunication between my manager and myself, which ultimately led her to making me look like a total fucking selfish idiot in front of my field manager. Pisses me off when people try and make me look stupid so they can earn that extra point. So once again, 20 for my SM. -20 for Yeye.

5.) After leaving the workshop, my SM called and said to drive back and pick up more boxes so we can do our transfer of almost 3000 sale items. Drove back and only got to pick up 2. What. The. Fuck.

6.) On our way back to Virginia Beach, I keep hearing these noises and it got louder and louder and came to find out it was my mother fucking tire. It was so fucking flat due to a crazy industrial looking nail! So I pull over and call my mum mum to handle that, because I'm still a spoiled high maintenance ninja assassin brat.

7.) Figured out I had to wait up to 45 minutes for someone to come out and help me with my tire situation. I had to pee. My tita Dawn took the liberty of taking a flat box and shielding me from the public. How. Fucking. Funny. I'm only announcing this to the world, because it was pretty fucking funny that I'd do something like that. Haven't done that in public since I was 7.

8.) Handyman puts a fucking rinky dink tire back on my car and explains that I'll pretty much die if I go over 50mph. ON FUCKING 64?!?!? You're fucking high. And then has the audacity to say, "Virginia Beach? Oh you guys might be able to make it back home."

9.) Dawn and I didn't want to risk it so we drove out to Williamsburg, about 20 miles east, to the first Walmart Supercenter to try and get my old tire patched up. Come to find out...THE MOTHER FUCKING TIRE SHOP HAD CLOSED 3 MINUTES PRIOR TO OUR GODDAMN ARRIVAL! At this point, I'm praying that God casts a lightning bolt onto my chest.

10.) My phone dies. Devastating enough.

11.) I have to pee again, and we're still 45 miles away going 50 mph on the goddamn interstate. At this point I'm screaming and bouncing up and down to try and distract myself, while my tita takes pictures of semi trucks carrying oversized loads passing me.

12.) Made a bet that we'd arrive back in time to clock out of transit when the sun had completely gone down. Guess what? IT'S PITCH FUCKING BLACK OUTSIDE NOW!

13.) I come home to a dog laying next to a pool of what looks/smells like straight vomit.

Now, I have to plan ahead for my day tomorrow, which consists of moving 2 maximum capacity shops and filling 1 brand new shop with brand new concepts. Oh, and window mannequins! Without hitting overtime. Fuck, to the my life.

Avec l'amour,

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