Like one of those epilogue/prologue kinds of things

Hi....sorry.

Basically, well obviously is probably the better word here. Obviously, I have neglected any thought to an update. Dealing with the loss of my best friend and dearest cousin Daboy kind of set me back a little bit on a few things and I'm sorry but this blog was not priority. But I fell hard and realized that a few things had to change for the better. I did it for him but now, I've come to that point where I now realize that this is what I want to do. Oh, and I'm a spoiled, studious daughter and I got a new Macbook Pro for my birthday coming up on the 15th :D 


Working at Forever 21 still -_- Yeah. I don't even do smiley faces like that! But it's the best expression. There's just been a lot of things going on that makes my job as a visual merchandiser almost unenjoyable. Visual standards are always changing and we receive no reassurance what so ever on if we're doing something correct. At this point, whatever right? Oh, and my patience is wearing thin. I actually have a good amount of patience in general. I don't mind waiting in traffic. I don't mind sitting at the bank for an hour. But my patience with people is what concerns me, specifically our everyday ignorant customer. Perfect example would be from tonight's fiasco. Alright first off, Sunday we began our floor set and we worked overnight into the wee hours of the morning. While everyone was off today, I had to come in at 4pm after just getting off at 530am the same day. My choice, I needed tomorrow off. Back on subject! Tonight, I was working on a project when this girl, maybe about 15-16, came up to me and said, "So like, where are like, your umm...your like dresses?" Normally I pause for a second before I let my laughter come out of my mouth and then I proceed to ask, "Well what kind of dress are you looking for?" This time, yeahhhhhhh I definitely just laughed out loud. Girl got embarrassed and walked past me like she'd find it herself. Walk to your right, fuckass. Follow the trail of glitter, sequins, and sensors. 


Eh sorry, that kind of didn't have to be that long but that was more of a rant than anything. But yeah back to the original point. It's not quite satisfying anymore at the end of the day to know that I helped some asshole find their ideal club dress, or another club dress in her size. I also don't want to get my degree in fashion merchandising to continue working in a retail environment for just a $2-$4 boost in my pay. Some people have that degree and that's cool and I'm still kind of jelly. I'm just saying, it's not my cup of tea, especially with the time frame I have to fuck with. So, (drum roll here), I changed my major to Registered Nursing. Ha, right? I have my goals set for my BA and possibly my Master's to be a nurse practitioner. I'm particularly interested in pediatrics and orthopedic nursing. I'm on my first semester and I've actually got a solid GPA and I'm doing pretty damn good for my first time in Anatomy and Physiology. You know where you're in high school and it's a burden to you because you don't want to be there? Obviously there's probably a combination of reasons why you don't want to be there but basically, you weren't interested in learning what they had to teach us. I actually look forward to going to classes now. Quite nerdy actually but I don't care. This is probably the smartest decision I've ever made for myself and my future family to come someday before my eggs are no bueno hahahahaha sorry that was immature. 


Also, this is probably the main reason why I've decided to do all of this. I met this girl in my store a long time ago and said that her friend, my friend as well, told her to check out my blog for fashion tips or whatever and she's been reading as I update. She said I had good words and that I was real "blassez blah" but that she liked it. I saw her from time to time in my store after that day and I noticed that she actually had a few pieces I had mentioned here. I saw her in darker colors with short shorts and etc. Daboy was a firm believer in individuality. I actually tattooed it on my arm. "Everybody wants to be somebody, but no one wants to be themselves." I kind of wish I hadn't even started the blog because I kind of strayed off path. I wanted, at first, for this blog to be based on individuality. Everyone has their own flare. I'll rephrase it, their own flare. You should embrace it and use it. I guess I'm just weirded out at seeing this girl with the exact same outfit I had on for one of my shoots. The exact same. And well, I don't know. I guess I just like being that mystery. I don't want someone else to be the same mystery. That's no fun. 


To be honest, I haven't slept since Sunday and I'm butt-fucking tired. Maybe tomorrow on my day off I'll do a little something something since it's a very important day tomorrow. 


Although most of you all haven't met my cousin Daboy, you would've loved him like me and my family loved him. Remember Da Ibanez today. One sad year already passed, but I'm just one year closer to seeing you. I love you. 


With lots of love, 
Yeye